This blog is created out of random act. I just opened few of my friends' blogs and feel the need to write and not to write on my beauty space. Maybe it's true when people say, have a diary and write everything in there since some things are better be kept to yourself but we humans can't just do it alone and bottle up everything. We still need someone or something to tell how we really feel, how is our day, are we still in love with the same person, are we happy with the job we're doing, are we chasing the dream that we once really wanted... I've started working since April, 3 months after I finished my bachelor degree. Alhamdulillah, I did not menganggur for too long and secured myself a job during this challenging time, Alhamdulillah. Truly grateful even up until today, I am still grateful. Having said that, November marks my 8th month of working here, doing a routine I never thought I'd be doing; Get up at 5 am everyday, leave house around 6.25 am, take the bus to KL, continue with the LRT and walk to the office. My 8th month of being here makes me feel something, makes me wonder about my life. 'Will this forever be it?' 'Will I forever be doing a 9-5 job even after I get married and have children?' Most importantly, I find myself constantly asking this, ' Is this really the life I want to live with for the rest of my life?' I get up every morning now, feeling numb. Knowing that I have to do the same routine all over again not just bore me, it sickens me at times. I sound a bit tak bersyukur now right? I was once asked, 'Is this the industry you want to be in?' and that question lingers even harder now in my mind these days. I know rezeki Allah ada di mana-mana, we have to believe. I do believe, I am. But for me to quit what I'm doing now without any backup plans, I can't. I have debts to pay, responsibilities are chasing me like nobody's business and that becomes the barrier of me quitting what I'm doing. I hope I find a way out of this dilemma and finally find a life worth living for and worth loving for. I'm waiting for that day to come and have a life I am content with, totally.
Love,
Mimz
